Demon Salt, Horrible Metaphors, and Beautiful Puns

Happy Punday Sunday Everyone! {^_^}


So I'm well aware that most people don't appreciate puns the same way I do, but that's never stopped me from sharing them before.  And it most definitely won't stop me now.


Here's some very poorly done puns since I still can't get pictures to show up on my blog:


"I don't trust stairs.  They're always up to something."
"My friend's baker burnt down last night.  Now his business is toast."
And one more...
"The man who fell into the upholstery machine is fully recovered."


And that's all for this week.  Thanks for making it through that with me.




Sooooo... Now that puns are out of the way, we can start with books.


A few weeks ago, I read a book called Firefight by Brandon Sanderson, which is the sequel to Steelheart.  This series is basically wonderful, since it's about people who suddenly got superpowers because of Calamity, a "red star" in the sky.  They, of course, let corruption go to their heads and take over the world, and this series is about a boy named David, who tries to join the Reckoners in getting rid of all of the evil people in the world.  The full synopsis can be found here: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/steelheart-brandon-sanderson/1114016095?ean=9780385743570


Anyway, the book itself is wonderful, but one of my favorite parts is David's character himself.  The author, by some brilliant decision of fate, has blessed David with the inability to make metaphors.  And dude, those horrible metaphors make me crack up and stop reading to appreciate them.


For example, from Firefight:

• "It was like one lumberjack had eaten another lumberjack, and their powers had combines to form one really fate lumberjack."
• "'You're like a potato!' I shouted after her. 'In a minefield.'" [while trying to talk to the girl he likes]

Anyway, maybe you have to read them in context (And yes, I'm aware these are similes.  But that's part of how horrible he is).  Just trust me, his metaphors are hilarious.  They're almost good enough that even if the book sucked, I'd recommend it.  Luckily, the book does not suck.  It's quite good, and I recommend the series to anyone who likes dystopia-without-dystopian-whining and evil superheroes.




Which leads us to the last part: salt.  I just finished Danielle Ellison's book Salt, the first in the series, and it was pretty good.  It's about a girl who belongs to a family of witches in a world where witches fight off demons.  Only, Penelope had her essence (basically, an important part of her soul and the part that gives her powers) sucked out when she was nine, so she can't do powers unless she's around a member of her family.  This book is basically about her figuring out the Why while also trying to get a job as an Enforcer in the witch community (an Enforcer is one who fights demons and sends them to hell).


What y'all really need to understand is I LOVE well-crafted books about demons.  They're one of my favorite things.  This one had an interesting premise while also bringing in witches and creating a world built around our own.  I thought it was well done, and I'd recommend people to read it as long as they don't mind slightly gushy love scenes.  The only downside is I thought the violence in the book was down-played.  It was offset by Penelope's comic humor, which I actually really liked, but somehow made the situations seem less dire.


Anyway, that's the weekend for you.  Hope you guys have a wonderful week.