Those Books that Make You Hate Life

It's been awhile since I've read a really depressing book, one that makes me curl into a ball and sob.  I don't know why we do these things to ourselves, but it seems depressing books are extremely popular.  They make us feel something, and most importantly, they remind us that we are human.  And, you know, that our lives are not as horrible as we think they are.  I mean, it's not like you're hallucinating all of your cousins because you're too messed up to admit you basically killed them years ago (yes, I'm talking to you, We Were Liars).  So yeah, depressing books make our lives look better.


As I begin to brace myself to read All the Bright Places, I've decided to rank the top 10 tear-worthy books I've read in the past few years.  Brace yourselves:


10. Hate List by Jennifer Brown:  Though I read this book a long time ago, I still get pretty messed up thinking about it.  For anyone who's been living under a rock since 2009, this book is about a girl who's dealing with the aftereffects of her boyfriend shooting up the school and then killing himself.  She's ostracized and reeling, trying to cope with the fact that she helped create the hit list he used, and man, do the emotions hit you.  Any book that deals with a school shooting makes me cringe and tear up inside, whether it's well-written or not.  This one happens to be from a unique perspective of messed-up, and so yes, I cried.


9. The Last Guardian by Eoin Colfer:  Okay, yes, this is an Artemis Fowl book, and most people didn't get that emotional over what I considered a heart-breaking, world-shattering ending that was as depressing as it was bittersweet.  But seriously, that ending made me hate life for a good two weeks, and don't even get me started on the whole cloned-but-has-no-memories thing at the end.  I was not ready for such sacrifice from such a villain.  Gah.


8. Take Back the Skies by Lucy Saxon:  Because, if the award would go to the most depressing death scene that made me hate life when she got married to another man, it'd go to this book.  I still can't even talk about it.  The book itself was pretty good, but that death scene, although called for and clearly seen coming, hit me too hard.  And the wedding scene in the epilogue makes me want to claw the girl's eyes out.  Not that I don't support the act of moving on after someone you love dies... I just resent that it was to such a noodle...


7. Rogue by Gina Damico:  This is the last book in Damico's Croak series, and the ending sent me reeling into some weird book depression for weeks.  I couldn't even look at a new book for awhile after I finished this.  I mean, seriously, the death scenes and the sacrifice and the oblivion and the light at the end of the blackness and the other death scene and the suicide-after-putting-the-affairs-in-order-to-be-with-the-one-I-love...  Okay, not really suicide.  But to give up your soul for that, man.  That's some serious commitment.


6. The Sweet Far Thing by Libba Bray: This is the reason I went through a tree-loving phase.  Live on, my true love in a tree, live on...


5. So Silver Bright by Lisa Mantchev: The conclusion of the Theatre Illuminata series, this book crushed my hopes in dreams but also kind of gave me a new outlook on life.  I still find myself missing Ariel, whether he was real or not, whether he WANTED to be released or NOT...  I'm okay.


4. The List by Siobhan Vivian: This book is the true cattiness of high school girls at its finest.  Covering everything from image issues to eating disorders, this book takes a harsh look at the detriments of being pointed out as both attractive and hideous.  Expectations lead to horrible consequences, and one point of view can overtake all the others when no one dares to speak up.  Seriously, when I first finished this book, I sat there thinking, "Nothing happened, but I feel horrible."  Then I realized that the book represented a truth: things don't always get resolved in life.  Sometimes things get worse and don't get better, and that's clearly what this book represented in a high school setting.


3. Allegiant by Veronica Roth: Because even though my love lived on, I was not okay.  My favorite character died, some of my not so favorite characters died, a VERY IMPORTANT character died... Like, seriously, what the heck?  For months after reading this book, I would start crying when someone brought it up.  I'd get very emotional, and it lasted much too long... MUCH too long.  I'm still not completely over it.  I expect all my favorite characters to die gruesome, pointless deaths now.  That emotional scarring, though.
2. We Were Liars by E. Lockhart: I mean, dude. Other than the whole, EVERYONE DIED thing... this book was just one upbeat moment after another.  Sarcasm.  I can't handle... My mom walked in on my post-WWL and watched as I cried on my bed.  I was an emotional wreck for the rest of the day, and I still feel like crying when I think about the dysfunction in this family.  Seriously, I don't care if my child is an emotional wreck or keeps forgetting, I feel like it's important to tell her about CERTAIN people's deaths before she goes back to the island and starts hallucinating.  Just saying.


ANNNNNND THE WINNER IS.........


1. Dreams of Gods and Monsters by Laini Taylor: So technically this book didn't end in a horribly depressing ending, but it was SO bittersweet and SO beautiful that I still don't really know how to feel.  Taylor's writing style makes me feel for her characters and live in her world, so I cried over and over again for Akiva and Karou's dream.  I mean, any book that begins with "Once upon a time..." really deserves some credit, but when that is followed by angels and devils and love and the end of the world and lots and lots of deaths, it can only be brilliant.  I absolutely LOVE this book.  But that ending, though.  I still don't want to talk about it.




Runners Up Include But Are Not Limited To:
The Vanishing Game by Kate Kae Myers
The Fall of Five by Pittacus Lore
Sever by Lauren DeStefano
Strange and Ever After by Susan Dennard
Girl of Nightmares by Kendare Blake
and of course,
The Blood of Olympus by Rick Riordan, for simply existing at all and ending my childhood.


Obviously, I don't get the feels for many of those books out there for teen girls that are meant to break your heart.  But that doesn't stop the fact that I love books.  And those books that make me cry, even if they're not traditional tear-jerkers, break my heart just the same.